Personal & Transparent Testimony

(Stand in Awe – Part 2) Last month I had the honor of being one of the speakers at our 2018 Women’s Conference, the theme, ‘Stand in Awe’ – I spoke on Stand in Awe of God’s Plan and Timing. (To read Part One, click here: I felt God whisper, “It’s alright I have a plan.”

John 9 – Jesus sees a blind man, the disciples ask “Who sinned this man’s parents or this man?” Jesus says, (in short) Neither, this happened so God would be glorified, that this man would have an encounter with ME.  Jesus spits in the dirt, puts the pasty clay on the man’s eyes, and tells him to go wash, he did and he could see.  There was so much news press about this, the religious leaders were called in and even the formerly blind man’s parents.  They asked him multiple questions, and two times, he says, “I DON’T KNOW!’  But then, he says, “One thing I do know, once I was blind, now I see!”  What a lesson for us; Don’t bother arguing about the questions you don’t know the answers to, but reply with what you do know.  “I met Jesus, and now I …” God’s plan is always in motion, His timing perfect, we may not see it, but He’s there.  You can hear the faint whisper of the Father, “It’s alright I have a plan.”

Many, who know me, know my PASSION is God’s word; I study it, write about it and teach it.  But I too have a ‘once I was blind but now I see…”  At my earliest memories, I always struggled with reading, in the second grade it was planned to hold me back, yet my parents and the school decided on a summer tutor.  Going forward, throughout grade school I was in special reading programs.  Once in Junior High, they began testing me, it was determined, I had Comprehension Reading Disorder, (and extremely so) as they explained it, I could read the words, but not understand.  Once the words were in my mind, they were all jumbled up and made no sense. By the time I graduated from High School, I was tested reading at about a 4th-grade reading level. I knew Jane and Dick were playing with Spot after school, but figuring out math word problems, “The train leaves the station at 6:04 am…” NO WAY!

Whenever there is a lack in one area, we tend to compensate in another, like a deaf man will grow to have a keen sense of sight, or a blind man, his hearing.  I too compensated, I learned the skill of listening and watching.  I remember that summer tutor telling me, “Look and listen for the important things.”  At the beginning of class, the teacher would begin with “In last night’s homework, we looked at…”  While the other kids were goofing off, I paid attention. I listened and watched for the important things.  It was this era, nearly 17,  that I gave my heart to Jesus and fell head over heels in love with God.

After graduation, I was enrolled in the Graphic Arts program at our local community college, it was all I had planned for all my life, and it was what I was good at!  At the end of the first week, only five days in, sitting in Art History class, I heard a Voice tell me “You are not supposed to be here.” Hm… I asked, “Where am I supposed to be?” The Voice responded, “Bible College.” I did a Sarah, I laughed. Then I asked the risky question, “Why?”  “You are going to teach My Word.” The Voice said.  I felt the strong need to NOT ask any more questions! So confident God was speaking, after class was over, I walked out, across campus and straight to the Admin building and withdrew from the art program.  I was so impacted, that only, ONLY God, knowing me, knowing my weakness, would call me to a book. The girl who couldn’t read – called to a BOOK!

After a year or so, I was at Portland Bible College, two months in, alone in my dorm room one night, I knelt down, and with all seriousness within me, I told God I wanted it ALL – I want this Spirit-thing, and I was finally surrendering to His call on my life.  The girl who couldn’t read… called to THE Book!  I began to notice a difference within the next couple days, weeks and months. You see, it all began to make sense.  As I read, I could ‘see’ it.  Something I could never do prior, the words no longer were jumbled, they made sense! (Go God!) God was healing my mind.

Looking back now, I hear the Whisperer, “It’s alright I have a plan.” Yes, all those years were extremely painful in my lack – BUT, God’s plan, His timing.  Due to my lack, I compensated (so I thought) it was, however indeed part of God’s plan. In me, He was causing me to learn the skill of ‘Listening and looking for the important things.’ And THAT is Bible study!  Since then, when I read, I always ask God to show me, I take pause and notice the details, I look for the important things – the who, what, where, when and why.

God’s plan at times seems to be knitted up so tight it can be difficult to see, as I taught this to the ladies at the conference, I wore a bright red L-O-N-G scarf that my dear friend Terri knit for me, representing the plan of God.  Long, unraveling as it dragged behind me, was cumbersome to wear and at times got in my way, but if it were pulled out in a straight line, we can see down the ‘timeline’ (if you will) of God’s plan, and each movement of God marked.  As the women entered the conference, they were handed an old fashion wooden clothespin, as I closed my teaching, I shared, each of us has God marking our timeline, His plan and timing perfect. Let the clothespin be a reminder, that YOU are marked and you mark His timeline in affecting others.

It’s alright I have a plan.  This happened so God would be glorified, that this woman would have an encounter with ME!”  The girl, who struggled with the simplest reading, is now understanding and operating in hermeneutical skills to the glory of God!  I write and teach His Word to people all over the world.

In Him, DeDe (“Let us consider how we may spur one another towards love & good deeds.” – Hebrews 10:24)

*Stand in Awe image above was created by Chase at East River Fellowship


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